Simple, Yet So True

Every Friday a small group of us go on a prayer walk around the city. It's kind of a special time because Fridays are the day of the week at Muslims gather to pray and hear the teaching of the Koran. Rachel, the girl who started our prayer walks, has a goal of praying over the entire city in two years. She bought a map of Prishtina at a local store and highlights all the roads and streets we have been down.


I was thinking about last Friday...


A struggle that I often face since I have been here is the feeling of distant between me and the Lord. Sometimes i feel like my prayers bounce off the ceiling. It hasn't changed how often I pray, worship, or service Him. It does, however, change my own feelings toward those areas. Something I determined myself to do years ago was to be more loyal to obedience than to emotion. Therefore, I must make an intentional effort to service God when my feelings say otherwise. So, on Friday I was walking around and praying for the people that passed by me and for the country of Kosova. Then for a small second my feelings seeped through the cracks and spoke words of abandonment: "God is so far away. Your prayers can't be heard. Just give up. Joy, why are you praying for something so big -- so impossible. None of it will ever be answered." I spent the following few minutes in discouragement. But then I looked up and saw something strange. There was a small construction site that I was walking by and (randomly) there was a two-by-four in the ground with another wooden beam going across it horizontally about 1/3 of the way down. It was plain as day. Immediately the Spirit said, "I am here." I asked God, "If you're here, walking with us, and if your Spirit is here in Kosovo, then what I am doing here? Ultimately it's you who changes hearts, gives faith to believe, strength to repent, and passion to know you and your Word. It's not me. It's not us. I can't offer anything to these people! Only you can solve this problem! What do we do, Lord? What do I do? " Then the Spirit immediately said a simple, five letter word: "Share." Wow. I don't know why that pierced me so. It was so simple but yet so powerful. I was reminded of the passage that says, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'" I have still yet to discover how and why piercing can hurt so much but also be so good. It feels kind of like a cool breeze on an open cut. I was reminded in that moment, while walking by that small construction site, that all I am called to do is share. So simple. Because, how can God can convict their hearts if they have never heard? How can He give faith if they have never received the Message? God gave me an image of teamwork that day. Me? Me? God is choosing to team up with me? Why? This is such a mystery to me. All I know is that I am called to share and all the rest is left in the hands of my faithful God.